AM I REQUIRED TO LIVE WITH MY SPOUSE DURING OUR DIVORCE?

Once your divorce commences it may be uncomfortable living with your spouse. If you want to begin to live separately sit down and determine if this is realistic. Remember, if you live separately there will be double the living expenses. One person may have family and can temporarily move in which can help alleviate the cost.  Ultimately, if there isn’t a voluntary move, it is hard to have one person move out.

Before addressing the procedure for removing a spouse from the marital residence, also known as obtaining “exclusive use and occupancy,” we need to address this issue when there are children involved because then the answer does not necessarily revolve only around finances. To begin, you would be asking one parent to leave their children.  Keeping both of you in the house during this time may be in the best interests of the children.  Second, if one person does leave, an argument will be made that the spouse who left believes that the parent living with the children should have residential custody of the children. Therefore, if custody is an issue, leaving the marital residence has severe consequences and you need to consider your long term goal before taking any action. If you and your spouse cannot get along in front of the children, then it might be in their best interest for one spouse to leave the house. There may be unbearable tension between the two of you, but I implore you to put those feelings aside for your children. They do not need to be involved in adult matters.

If this is truly not possible and you seek exclusive use and occupancy there are a few ways to obtain this goal. First and the best option is voluntarily.  Second, if the other spouse sets up a separate residence, then you can state to the court that they should not come back to live in the home as it will create unreasonable “strife.”  Hopefully with a new residence, you will not need to involve the court.  If an agreement cannot be reached, you will need to go to court and argue that it is not feasible for you and your spouse to reside in the same house.  You will need to convince the court that the “strife” in the home is unbearable and harmful not just to you, but especially to the children.

Ultimately, ensure that whatever you decide is in the family’s best interest.