Divorce and the Whispers in Your Ear


Unfortunately, divorce actions have always been prevalent. One cannot throw a stone without hitting an individual who has had at least one acrimonious divorce. Thus, many of us have friends, colleagues and family members who are bloated with advice as to how all divorces should go. While these people are undoubtedly well-intentioned, the fact that everyone’s circumstances are different are often forgotten and/or overlooked. While an ’all in the same boat’ or “been there done that” mentality can be emotionally comforting, an overreliance on this type of support in connection with how your particular litigation should proceed will likely cause unnecessary and prolonged litigation in addition to undue emotional angst.


The bottom line is that once you have retained an attorney that you trust, presumably having done your due diligence in doing so, it is the attorney (and you, of course) that discusses the particular circumstances of your situation and formulates a strategy to best achieve an expeditious and satisfactory resolution of your action. The additional danger in letting others have too much input or “drive the bus” is that it can lead to a breakdown in communication with your attorney who will undoubtedly begin to believe that you have lost confidence in the representation. That being said, no one expects a person to blindly follow advice without question. You are always entitled to ask questions and fully understand the process. In fact, if you need to ask the same question several times due to a lack of understanding, please do so. The legal process is difficult to understand and often confusing and frustrating.


At the end of the day, if you are going through a divorce, your friends and family are your best support systems and are an invaluable resource for that purpose. In connection with your legal advocacy and the process itself, your attorney is and should be your primary source of information. If you think differently in this regard, you may have retained the wrong attorney.


If the whispers in your ears are becoming distracting and interfering with your relationship with your attorney and/or the progression of your case, conversations need to be had and decisions may need to be made regarding your legal representation and/or other ways to quiet those whispers.

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